The Lord's Prayer.

The past week has been a rather daunting one for me. First it was only two of them. Then it was three. Then it was four. I wondered why, but i just can't seem to find an answer. I know the small little reasons why, but they just don't quite seem to suffice. Is it the timing? Is it the time spent? Or is it just that they were closer than before; maybe i should have joined them more often? Maybe not.

It seems to rise up from my chest everyday as i make my way to school. It was a painful feeling. It keeps me thinking, over and over again. I became overwhelmingly paranoid. Sensitive? Absurdly! Every nuance keeps me at my toe. Initially, i even gave in to the devil's plot to shatter my very being. How could I.

Alienation was at its peak. Loneliness was indeed an agonising sensation. The darkness of it consumes almost everything dear to you. The fact that you don't feel wanted only exacerbates everything else.

Snapping back from my flood of thoughts by a jerk on the bus, I realised that i've been dwelling too much on self pity and paranoia. I've focused so much on what i am losing that i've missed out the point. It suddenly came to my mind. That very sermon. Yes, the one on troubles coming; mentioned by the Lord Jesus Christ.

The alienation in school, well, was initially seen as a fiend, surreptitiously tailing me. Now, it all made sense. It was all part of His great plan. A blurred memory sparked by to my mind as i remembered that i prayed, once, to Him to help me to move on after my secondary school life; to help mitigate the parting period - to make it less painful. Really, i thank Him for helping me to loosen the ties i have now. No doubt i still love my school mates. But, i think it is easier for me to part now.

The alienation, also made me treasure my church friends more, in particular my cell group. It made me realise that they are so important to me. And i feel that, i am actually closer to them now.

I really thank God for the friends that He's blessed me with in my secondary school, but even more so the brothers-&-sisters-in-Christ that He's so graciously blessed me with in my church.

The devil no longer has a foothold on my fear of alienation anymore. :D